Chasing the mosquito man

For all the DDT -- Drop Dead Twice -- sprayed

on hot summer evenings, the killer fog never seemed

to eradicate mosquitoes (or lightning bugs). One always managed

to squirm through a tiny hole in the metal screen

and spend most of the night buzzing your ear.

I saw the greatest minds of my dead end street running into the blue mist of the sweet-smelling cloud behind the Essex County Mosquito Man's Jeep.

Summer in the 1960s, and the living was good.

Sticky fly paper hung over the Maytag wringer washing machine next to the kitchen sink. Melmac cups were neatly stored on the yellow contact paper on the shelves behind the glass doors. Sometimes, you'd bug Ma while she was cooking and get to eat a raw hot dog. It was just like rolled baloney from Prosperi's around the corner store.

Continue reading Chasing the mosquito man

Summer Peaches and Tomato Gardens

Watering the garden was a chore best completed before sunset.

After sunset, starving squadrons of Jersey mosquitoes

searched ravenously for the warm-blooded.

Sucking on a peach pit is the perfect way to while away a steamy summer afternoon.

Roll it around carefully and use the pointed end of the pit to pick out the strands of peach fuzz and pulp between teeth.

All this while the taste of fresh peach tingles through your cheeks.

One of the first things Dad did when we moved into the big house in Belleville was to chop down the black walnut trees and plant a half-dozen peach trees in their stead.

It wasn't long before the low growing peach trees bore fruit and we filled baskets while we decided what to do with the bounty.

Continue reading: Summer Peaches and Tomato Gardens

The fountain of youth under the pipeline

The fountain of youth under the pipeline

Four decades later, I return to the pipeline. The dragon's

tail is less pronounced, and full-grown trees

hide the view of homes on Sycamore.

“Hey, Ant! You got a third eye!” Gary yells but it doesn’t help me see much better.

Fumbling, I pick up my twenty-six-inch Schwinn, but I drop it just as quickly. Then pick it up again. Holding it up, it’s holding me up.

Gary is staring at me. I sense this more than I see it. Can’t see much of anything really. Gary looks like a tree, the bike in my hand, a tangled red bush. The world isn’t spinning but it’s coming in cloudy.  I sense something tremendous has transformed my eight-year-old body.

“That’s what happens when your bike hits a rock on the pipeline,” Gary explains.

Continue reading: The fountain of youth under the pipeline

Waiting for Jerry the Ice Cream Man

Hot summer nights on our dead end street 

were full of mosquitoes, fireflies, kids playing Sputnik, 

and an interminable wait for Jerry the ice cream man.

Back in the day, our refrigerator's freezer was the size that fit two ice trays and a pound of chop meat. Then that small cool space froze over and there was never room for ice cream except at your birthday!

Back in the day, our refrigerator's freezer was the size that fit two ice trays and a pound of chop meat. Then that small cool space froze over and there was never room for ice cream except at your birthday!

It was the same way up and down the block on Gless Avenue in Belleville, N.J. Anybody who got rid of their ice box and got an electric refrigerator had about the same amount of freezer space.

Unlike an actual ice box, think: the kitchen on The Honeymooners, where you put in a block of ice and it melted water into a pail underneath, these new-fangled refrigerators used electricity to take heat and make cold.

Continue reading Waiting for Jerry the Ice Cream Man

Ghosts of Birthdays Past

"...The year I turned 19 my birthday drew the Selective Service Draft lottery number 319. Had I been born on June 6, my lottery number would have been 127. And I'm so glad that our family doctor gave my mom the wrong date. 

Had I been born on Memorial Day that year, my lottery number would have been 19, like my age. I would have found myself working in the service of Uncle Sam and likely sweating the last of my teen years in a foreign jungle instead of a coffee warehouse in Moonachie, N.J....   

I grew up with my Army men. They pounced on each other, shot each other, blew up on our living room rug, were bombed by all sorts of toy planes, attacked enemy convoys – all while my father, nearby, watched our black and white TV or slept in his recliner. He never said anything when I had my armies lined up to face off for battle...."

Continue reading The Longest Day for a Birthday

Milk Carton Bird Houses

When I was in the Boy Scouts -- about 1964 to 1968 -- we took what were then new, the cardboard cartons that milk came in ... instead of the class bottles with cream at the top and a cardboard seal ... and converted them into bird houses for our feathered friends.

I don't remember how mine turned out. We never took a picture of that -- not with Mom's Kodak Instamatic or the yet-to-be-invented smartphone.

It was a long time ago. Now that I think of it, it may have been when I was a Cub Scout. We made those kinds of projects all the time. I remember asking mom for a bar of smelly girl soap and a fine handkerchief that she took out from her hope chest. I then got pretty girly pins stuck the handkerchief into the bar of soap and gave it to her for Mother's Day. Boy, was she surprised.

But probably not as surprised as the first birds who moved into my milk carton bird house. I wonder if they could tell it was built by a carpenter's son?

© 2014 Anthony Buccino

Want to help your kids make milk carton bird houses? Try these directions at About.com 

Saving washers

Stored in My Memory Bank: The Pink Pig, Dad’s Silver 'Washers'

Dad was a carpenter, and each week he gave me the washers from his pay envelope. I’d plunk them onto my piggy bank. Yeah, that’s right, washers as in nuts, bolts and washers. He told me washers weren’t money and I couldn’t spend them on candy or toys. When we filled the pink pig, we brought them to the big, boring stone bank. They said when I turned 16, I could take the money out.

Continue reading

Reunions, Ghosts Holy and Unholy

Saturday night I stood in my fourth-grade classroom for the first time in 48 years. A young girl conducted an alumni tour. I said, out loud, unfiltered, "I was sitting here when they told us Kennedy was shot." 

The pubescent guide continued to explain how the room is used today, but I was years away. By the time my mind was in sync with her, we were down a level and outside the dreaded principal's office. I shivered waiting for that bowling ball in flowing black robes to rumble into the corridor.

I never had much love for school. I was ready to drop out in second grade but somehow hung so I'd enjoy going to high school class reunions. I've been to four, including the 25th and the 40th.

Continue reading

McKeever and The Colonel

Too bad nobody else remembers this show besides me:

"McKeever and The Colonel ran during the 1962-63 season on NBC. Cadet Gary McKeever (Scott Lane), with the help of fellow cadets Monk (Johnny Eimen) and Tubby (Keith Taylor) make life miserable for the Colonel (Allyn Joslyn) of a military school."

http://www.tvparty.com/recmckeever.html

Elementary student strip search

Seems like this kind of story surfaces every few years or so. Some school decides to strip search a kid and eventually the news gets out and there's a flurry of invective and then it all seems to fade away.

Perhaps now that the Supreme Court of the United States is looking into the strip search of an elementary student in Arizona, the news will play a tad longer on the front page.

But unless you've ever been an elementary student strip-searched by persons of authority, you'll never comprehend the shame and terror. It stays with you forever.

"...Irked at the boys’ failure to come forward with what they had done in their Fruit of the Loom briefs in their charcoal gray slacks, the Sisters herded the four boys down the hallway without allowing the boys a quick prayer to any of the sacred statues in the hall.
They were led as sheep by a shepherd towards the boys’ lavatory. Sister JoAnn stayed behind, just outside the two classrooms to ensure their peaceful, if curious study, while Sister Lenore (or was it Eleanor?) directed the trembling boys into the boys’ lavatory.
She ordered them to stand facing the urinals, one for each of the four boys who had been standing in the hallway next to MaryAnn who had soiled her delicate unmentionables.

The boys trembled, first at a woman in the boys’ lavatory, then at a nun in the boys’ lavatory, and then when Sister Lenore (or was it Eleanor?) ordered, “Drop your trousers.”

“God, help the boy who fouled up the hallway,” she inveighed.

Shyly, each boy, not understanding the trouble each boy was in because of what one of the other three must have done, looked aside at the other boys.

“No talking. Eyes straight ahead,” Sister Lenore barked, her scream echoing against the tile like a doo-wop group’s tune.

With her nose, Sister Lenore’s tried to head off the incident by discovering which of the boys had soiled his trousers before the boys would have to do what she had ordered.

Bashfully, the boys in front of other boys for the first time in their lives began to unbuckle their belts, one boy after the other, then all at the same time. One pair of trousers fell, then another, and another and another.

“No! Enough!” Sister Lenore called curtly called when one boy began to drop his lily white Fruit Of The Loom briefs.

Using her strong Roman nose to sniff out evil-doings in little third grade boys, Sister Lenore inspected the back of the boys’ white underwear from several feet away. In their white cotton briefs, the boys stood facing cold white urinals.

Perhaps it was the smell of this place, or the white disks near the urinal drains, or the smell of cold, hard fear like the cold hard urinal enamel that set the little boys trembling, trying so hard not to cry in front of each other.

Terror flushed inside their racing hearts. They waited to hear the clicking wisp of black rosaries when Sister whisked a solid oak paddle from beneath her long black habit. Sacred fear as the martyrs themselves must have known roiled within the boys as they awaited the “Thwack!” and someone else’s sobbing scream and tears...
...Sister JoAnn, in her most authoritative voice ordered the full class of more than sixty third graders to never again mention what had happened in the hallway or “God, help you,” there would certainly be Hell to pay.

And to this day, no one ever said a word ..."

From: SISTER DRESSED ME FUNNY

The naked truth about strip searches in school

LI educators monitor Arizona student strip-search case

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Copyright © 2009 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Photos and content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

Sister Dressed Me Funny excerpt copyright © 1996 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved.

Friday Flashback - TV Shows We Watched

Here's a list of TV shows we USED to watch that are no longer on TV.

Your challenge, add a show without duplicating a show on the list...

Bob - Lost in space.
Jodi The Munsters
Melanie The MagicGarden
Kelly Romper Room
Ingrid Dark Shadows
Debb Bewitched
Greg I Dream of Jeanie
Lydia Petticoat Junction
Lynn B. The Ed Sullivan Show
Nani The Rifleman
Judy - Star trek
Joanie FantasyIsland
>> Laura E. Hazel
>> Aaron C Emergency!
>> Ginny B Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In
>> Gary MissionImpossible
>> Sue H. Lassie
>> Connie Dallas
>> Rebecca The Waltons
>> Chuck Bat Man
>> Lori Smothers Brothers
>> Simone Wild, Wild West
>> Irma Perry Mason
>> Ric Car 54 Where are you?
>> Scott One Adam 12
>> Teacia The Brady Bunch
Linda Bonanaza
Bill Gilligans
Sheila The Electric Co.
Pat Mr. Magoo
Donna Addams Family
David The Courtship of Eddie's Father
Sarah Zoom
Terri Golden Girls
Eleanor The A Team
Sue L. The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Kelly 6 million-dollar man
Karen Ironside
Lesa The Partridge Family
Eileen Here Come the Brides
Theresa The Merv Griffin Show
Pat Soap
Chris I Love Lucy
Janet Mr. Ed
Stacey Three's Company
Candice Good Times
Laurie Who's The Boss
Leslie The Ghost and Mrs. Muir
Denice Fury
Jackie Captain Kangaroo
Lori - The Flying Nun
Kate The Monkees
Mary Lou Please Don't Eat the Daisies
Lisa F-Troop
Bridget The Love Boat
CHERYL THE DONNA REED SHOW
Nancy "That Girl"
Joyce 'Ozzie and Harriett
Debbie Mash
Melissa Benny Hill
Pat.D welcome back, kotter
Mike G: The Time Tunnel
Donna B. Combat
Jean A. Howdy Doody Time
Terri Captain Kangaroo
Pat The Andy Williams Show
Bill THE PERRY COMO SHOW
Bucky Hullabaloo
Bucky Tommy 7(was on in new york )
Bob Perry Mason
Beth Grizzly Adams
Jeannine Bandstand
Karen Big Valley
Jimmy What's My Line
Mike Get Smart
Mike I've Got a Secret
Mike Starman
Mike The Fugitive
Neil My Favorite Martian
Bob J-The Green Hornet
Nita - Uhhhhhhh - Shindig!!!!!!
Pearl- The Mickey Mouse Club
BRYAN- RAWHIDE
Jeana The Great Space Coaster
SHELLEY- DYNASTY
Bridget - Dark Shadows
Bobbie-The Gong Show
Rose-- Daktari
Sherry--Lawrence Welk (hated it)>
Clark ---I've Got A Secret>
Barbara--The Dating Game>
Rosemary---I Remember Mama
Ann - Knot's Landing
Robin ~ My Mother the car
Stacy ~ Leave it to Beaver
Dennis ~ Bat Masterson
ROB -- THE RIFLEMAN
Bob -- Willaim Tell>
Lenny-- The Honeymooners
DAN-- THE FALL GUY
Denise - Mr. Belvedere
Jenny - Mork and Mindy
SUE-PASSWORD
Elouise - Dragnet
Marty - My Little Margie
Carole - Port Charles
Dea--Your Hit Parade
Darlene - Beulah
Will - Death Valley Days
Betty Jo Little House on the Prairie
Nancy - Gunsmoke
Delores - The Loretta Young Show
Dee- Dukes of Hazzard (hubba hubba)
Rhonda - My Favorite Martian
Melissa - Alias Smith and Jones
Welton - Nichols
Dave - The Champions
Rich- Captain Nice
Margo - Green Acres

This is fun...keep it going...and DON'T FORGET TO INCLUDE ME WHEN YOU FORWARD THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS! How many shows can we come up with that we USED to watch that are no Longer on TV? Add ONLY 1 and keep it going! This should be fun and jog our memories. No repeats on the shows please and please only put one answer so as to allow others to think of something.

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Copyright © 2009 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Photos and content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

Time to run with scissors (one of those forwards!)

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

"First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

"Hey Rube!"

"Hey, Rube!" That's what the guy yells when he walks into the newspaper office and suddenly everyone and everything is upsdide-down. It takes a little bit of sleuthing later by Superman and his pals Lois and Jimmy to figure that colloquialism is used by circus workers to indicate trouble.

Thus, when the room turns upside-down and the bad guy is surprised, he yells, "Hey, Rube!" which is a call for warning and help at the circus.

#70 "Topsy Turvy" (1955)
A crook plans to use one of Professor Pepperwinkle's inventions that makes things appear upside down.

I call it the episode of the upside-down machine on Superman.

Superman - Coal & Diamonds

Internet Movie Data Base

TV or Not TV

Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman! Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a neverending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.

I went to school with a chap who was about fourth of six boys and the Superman TV show was constantly on in his house from the older ones on to the youngest. In fact, one of George's proudest achievements (at the time) was to be able to do the show intro in one long breath.

TRIVIA: George is referred to in Letter of Introduction in A Father's Place. He's the fellow at the IHOP.

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

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Welcome, says Uncle Tonoose

Thanks for stopping by.

If you're familiar with the old Danny Thomas show, you'll remember that Hans Conried played his uncle Tonoose. Somewhere in the 1960's my pals started calling me Uncle Tonoose and then Tonoose, and well, if you were one of the half-dozen or so of them, you would know why Stinky was called Stinky and Hoss Hoss, and so on down the line.

I'll bet you're wondering what this blog is going to be about. That makes two of us. But we'll see in due time. Perhaps it will be about those wonderful times we had in the 1960s or later. Perhaps this will simply clue you in to my main web pages.

Meanwhile, I've got some posting to do.

All photos and text are Copyright 2005 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved