Verizon, get me rewrite!

If anyone has ANY idea wtf they are talking about...

Subj: Replacement of Your Verizon Internet Access Service Terms of Service

Effective March 4, 2008 - Important Information Regarding Replacement Of Your Verizon Internet Access Service Terms Of Service

Effective March 4, 2008, the current Verizon Internet Access Service Terms of Service will be replaced by a revised and reordered set of terms and conditions entitled Verizon Online Terms of Service (“VOL Terms”). The VOL Terms are designed to help our subscribers locate terms of interest relating to Verizon Online’s Internet access and other products and services, and to present the service terms and acceptable use policy in a format that is easy to follow. Beginning on March 4, 2008, the VOL Terms will govern your rights and obligations, and ours, with respect to your use of the services we offer.

Described below are some of the changes reflected in the VOL Terms. However, we recommend that you review the entire VOL Terms to familiarize yourself with them. Your continued use of your Verizon Online Services after the above effective date will constitute your agreement to the VOL Terms.

The VOL Terms can be accessed by clicking on the "Policies and Terms of Service" link (www2.verizon.net/policies) at the bottom of any page of our Website.

Here is an overview of some of the changes reflected in the VOL Terms:

1. Reordered and Consolidated Provisions. We have consolidated and reordered a number of sections to put certain information at the beginning of the VOL Terms. These changes involve important terms like the duration and methods for accepting the VOL Terms, provisions allowing for revisions to the VOL Terms, account use and responsibilities, service availability and changes to the services we offer.

2. Restated Acceptable Use Policy (AUP). We have streamlined our Acceptable Use Policy, which now consists of the following four sections: General Policy, Specific Examples of AUP Violations, Usenet Policy and Posting Restrictions, and Copyright Infringement /Repeat Infringer Policy. The AUP is set out in Attachment A to the VOL Terms.

3. New Attachment B, Additional Services Terms. We have added a new Attachment B that provides, in one place, product-specific terms and conditions that pertain to the following services: Personal Web Space and Verizon Online Backup & Sharing, Email and Email Messaging Service, Verizon Internet Security Suite and Verizon Games on Demand.

Again, please take time to review the VOL Terms. Thank you for being a Verizon Online customer.

Verizon Online

I think it says I have to give them my first-born son if I can't use my cell phone to take a picture anywhere but inside my pants pocket.

Seriously, do you think they have any idea how ridiculous this email is? Maybe their lawyers made them send it out.

You know what Shakespeare said about lawyers...

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

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