1.21.2008

Ten Questions About The Environment

1. What I want to know is how did the dinosaurs all die under the Gulf of Mexico, in the North Sea and under so many places under the ocean? That's where the oil is, no, so that's got to be where the dinosaurs died. Look, I can understand dinosaurs dying in the middle of the desert. No water. No food. Pretty clear. But how did the dinosaurs get out in the water? Did they start swimming after some huge brine shrimp and then realize that dinosaurs don't know how to swim?


2. Why would aliens stop on planet earth? Would they use it as an example of how not to take care of your planet? Would it be like that Twilight Zone show: To Serve Man? Would our precious planet be little more than a huge slag heap to be mined for some common metal precious to aliens? Is our Milky Way galaxy some bit of cosmic dust in the cuff of a man who is dancing his way to the stars?

3. If you had gone into plastics when The Graduate hit the theaters, would you have been recycled by now?

4. Have we cleaned up all the SuperFund pollution sites in the nation? Or are we waiting for another Love Canal to rear it's ugly head?

5. Why, after all this time, have we not come up with a nicer way to slaughter our food? It's not much different than when cave men surrounded a mastodon.

6. Why is it today that we are shocked at the slaughter of the American Bison, but no one wants one running through a China shop?

7. Why is there only one Grand Canyon?

8. In more than one hundred years of commuter service, why hasn't man figured out how to get efficiently from Point A to Point B at a fair price?

9. When will pigs fly?

10. Why are there only nine questions about the environment when you were promised ten? Count again. This time, disregard the numbers.

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