4.29.2008

2008 Economic Stimulus Refund

I think the "May 01th" gives it away as spam, don't you?


SPAMasIRSNotice


Over 130 million Americans will receive refunds as
part of President Bush program to jumpstart the economy.

Our records indicate that you are qualified to receive the
2008 Economic Stimulus Refund.

The fastest and easiest way to receive your refund is by
direct deposit to your checking/savings account.

Please click on the link and fill out the form and submit
before May 01th, 2008 to ensure that your refund will be
processed as soon as possible.

Submitting your form on May 01th, 2008 or later means that
your refund will be delayed due to the volume of requests we
anticipate for the Economic Stimulus Refund.

To access Economic Stimulus Refund, please click here.


© Copyright 2008, Internal Revenue Service U.S.A. All rights reserved.



For your own protection, we have disengaged the Click Here.

4.25.2008

Miss Battleaxe - a memoir

... Miss Battleaxe had a pointy face like a battle axe and a nose carved from a granite promontory. Her beady dark eyes pierced through books and walls and little boys pointless shields and left a cold iceness on every smartass kid.

She taught us history for the 7th and 8th grades. We figured she was there with Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln, and she proofread the Monroe Doctrine.

In seventh grade I lost the draw and got her for Social Studies. That's a fancy name for history. There wasn't much social about it. She never let us talk to each other. She ruled with an iron look.

Our class was in the corner of the second floor, opposite the auditorium, down the hall from the band rooms, and next to one of the main staircases...

Read more

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

4.22.2008

"Hey Rube!"

"Hey, Rube!" That's what the guy yells when he walks into the newspaper office and suddenly everyone and everything is upsdide-down. It takes a little bit of sleuthing later by Superman and his pals Lois and Jimmy to figure that colloquialism is used by circus workers to indicate trouble.

Thus, when the room turns upside-down and the bad guy is surprised, he yells, "Hey, Rube!" which is a call for warning and help at the circus.

#70 "Topsy Turvy" (1955)
A crook plans to use one of Professor Pepperwinkle's inventions that makes things appear upside down.

I call it the episode of the upside-down machine on Superman.

Superman - Coal & Diamonds

Internet Movie Data Base

TV or Not TV

Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Superman! Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a neverending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way.


I went to school with a chap who was about fourth of six boys and the Superman TV show was constantly on in his house from the older ones on to the youngest. In fact, one of George's proudest achievements (at the time) was to be able to do the show intro in one long breath.

TRIVIA: George is referred to in Letter of Introduction in A Father's Place. He's the fellow at the IHOP.

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

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4.21.2008

Hello In There

This is a sad sweet song by John Prine. I love it to death.



One essay in A Father's Place, An Eclectic Collection shares this title.

Hello in There

Comes a time in life when we pass our prime. The kids grow up. We grow old. The kids have kids of their own, and they all have less time for us.

We suddenly have enough time for our spouse, who may not be around after waiting so patiently for our time. And when we have finally got all the time in the world, there is no one with whom to share it.

Our prime is the most active, thriving, successful stage of life. And long ago, when we were children and the concept of the prime of our lives was as hard to grasp as understanding the planets we could not even see beyond the stars.

Back then, we were told that our time in heaven would be so much like the prime of our lives. That was something that al¬though we could not understand, we took it on faith.

We had faith that we would live long, happy lives and would enjoy our prime before it fleeted away with our youth. And we watched carefully, when we had time, for our prime to arrive so that we could savor every moment.

In the meantime, our lives came and went, our children laughed and cried, were married, had children of their own, and finally, waited for their prime to come so they could savor its rich, delicate joy....



Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

4.18.2008

Parallel Parking

... Learning to drive can be fun. Really. Taking the small round wheel of the four-wheeled contraption, two-tones to the floorboard, we’re on our way to where the fun is.

Even the family dog has daydreams about grabbing the keys to the station wagon and heading off to the drive-through window where food magically appears your way.

“You want fries with that?’

“Woof. Woof. Ah-ooh!”

It is teaching someone else to drive that strikes panic in every parent.

First comes the realization that that little baby you once held in your hand has somehow, when you looked away, obviously, grown up.

Continue reading

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.


4.17.2008

SAT, Draft Card, Snoopy Hat, Oh, My!

If you want to keep a man busy for hours, 
give him a new shredder and a lot of old documents.

For reasons too many to go into here, we recently began an overhaul of the stash in the attic. Live some place thirty years and you'll be surprised at the stuff you might accumulate.

Smell like a St. Bernard

Now, some folks might call these treasures by their nickname, junk. However, each of these trinkets, knick-knacks, doo-dads and thing-a-ma-bobs have a story.

For instance, the St. Bernard was given to me by someone who knew I liked dogs and liked to smell nice, too. I guess they were out of Hai Karate.

 
a 'snoopy' hat and ceramic

Sixteen Inches On Center, an in-progress poetry collection about my father includes a poem "Snoopy Hat" which is based on this or a similar hard-hat liner of my dad's. If you can wait, that poem will appear in the 2009 edition of The Paterson Literary Review.


this bank is probably worth more than my house

One of my favorite TV shows to stop and watch when I spot it while zipping through the channels is the Antiques Roadshow. That's the show where people empty out their attics and try to find some piece of junk they have that might be worth thousands and thousands of dollars.

We never had any kind of that stuff in my family. Even all our drinking-glass jelly jars and gas-station give aways have all gone their way. Heck, even our McDonald's Sesame Street glasses are on their last wash cycles.

But, if anything turns out to be worth money, it's probably one of these two coin banks. I don't know where they came from. The Popeye bank just turned up in my box of stuff. Hey, until the Robin Williams movie about my favorite cartoon character, I never knew that Popeye was blind in one eye. Shiver me timbers!

[Image lost]

The Bloomfield Savings Institution was always one of my favorite banks. I didn't lose the key until sometime in the past 25 years. I have a feeling it might still show up. Wouldn't you feel better putting your hard-earned savings into an institution, rather than a savings and loan?



who knew I was smart, and had a high draft number?

Well, as this week's worth of shifting, repacking, and tossing comes to an end, we suppose the biggest surprises were the SAT score sheet from 1971 and the Selective Service System Registration Certificate from Jun 13, 1972.

Would you believe I weighed in at 158 in those days? Funny thing is, I'm not much more than that all these years later ... if I was on the moon.

Another surprise was how much stuff from the 1990s had our Social Security number printed in plain site. That's where the shredder comes in. In our case, Zamboni, who is not a St. Bernard, nor any kind of saint, actually, wants to help by eating the papers that miss the shredder.

Meanwhile, we stuff Visa bills, mortgage slips, old checks, cable TV bills, auto and house insurance policies, Bell Atlantic Mobile phone bills and all that rot into the shredder's maw.

Soon this vacation will end and Zamboni will return to his daily sleep routine.

Copyright © 2008-2016 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

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4.13.2008

Cherry Blossom Time

We went to Branch Brook Park, Newark, for the 10K Cherry Blossom Run and lo and behold, the cherry blossoms were in bloom, and the party was just getting started at the beautifully renovated Cherry Blossom Center.



Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved
One section of the hand-painted interior at the renovated Cherry Blossom Center. Hats' off to County Executive Joe Divincenzo and all the workers and artists who bestowed on this building a new life.

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved


Hundreds of runners champing at the bit!

If you get a chance this week to check out the beautiful display of cherry blossom trees, by all means, drop everything and get over there!












BACKGROUND

The Essex County Park System was created in 1895 and is the first county park system established in the United States. The Park System provides more than 6,000 acres of tranquil settings and open space, and has 18 parks, five reservations, an environmental center, a zoo, ice skating rink, roller skating rink, three public golf courses, golf driving range, three off-leash dog facilities and a castle.

Branch Brook Park was created in 1895 and is the first park in Essex County's system. At 359.72 acres, it is the largest county park in Essex.

The Cherry Blossom trees were added to the park as a result of a 1927 gift from the Bamberger and Mrs. Felix Fuld family.

Essex County Executive Joseph N. DiVincenzo, Jr. is spearheading a comprehensive program to revitalize the Essex County Park System, and is working with local conservancies to apply for grants to upgrade athletic fields, modernize playgrounds and recreation facilities, and improve conditions.

Branch Brook Park Alliance

The Branch Brook Park Alliance was formed in 1999 by local residents. They work with the Essex County Department of Parks, Recreation & Cultural Affairs to help restore, renew, and preserve the park.

The alliance recognizes the park's dual importance as a state treasure and as an essential and beneficial resource. Their goal is to raise public awareness of Branch Brook Park's attributes and to financially support its rehabilitation so that historic preservation and modern-day needs are successfully integrated.

For additional information, please visit www.branchbrookpark.org.




Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

4.11.2008

Sleeping Over

... When our family visit was nearly over at my aunt’s, my older cousin said, “Why don’t you sleep over? . . . It’ll be great!”

So, I’d go into my whining let-me-sleep-over mode. “But you don’t have any PJs,” my mom pointed out.

I’ll borrow some, I moaned until she let me stay.

Then I realized how scary it was to sleep in someone else’s house. The water pipes made strange creepy noises. Cars drove by the window all night. Horns honked up the street.

We usually stayed up as late as we could so we’d be too tired to be bothered by the noises.

My cousin and I squeezed into the single bed. I got the wall - otherwise I’d fall out. And in spite of this precaution, the household was awakened in the midnight hours by a big crash and lots of wailing when I fell on the floor. I felt like Dorothy in Oz and wondered how I got there.

Continue Reading

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

4.06.2008

Fwd: ATTN..... Anthony Buccino

I AM IN.
Now, how will I spend all that loot?

(Does this guy make good coffee, or what? He says he's a barrister!)

From: chris.keletg1@yahoo.com
Reply-to: chris.keletg5@yahoo.com
Sent: 4/6/2008 9:52:38 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time
Subj: ATTN..... Anthony Buccino

CHRIS KODJO'S CHAMBERS
ATTORNEY SOLICITORS & LEGAL REPRESENTATIVES
58 RUE DE MAWULE NYEKONAPKOE
LOME TOGO,
WEST AFRICA
TEL,+2289423818

Dear Anthony Buccino,

I am Barrister Chris kodjo, a solicitor at law, personal attorney to Engr. Edward J. N. Buccino, a national Of your country, who used to work as a contractor in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client.

On the 30th of April 2004, my client, were involved in a car accident along Kpalime express Road. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to search through with his name which motivated me to contact you, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$17.5 million left behind by my client before it gets confisicated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm(bank) where this huge amount were deposited.

The said Security Finance Company has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confisicated within the next twenty one official working days Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction goes through and for more details.

I will like you to get back to me with your telephone numbers, Marrital status, Age. Private phone number. fax number. occupation, and also what assurance are you given me that you will be able to handle this fund when it gets to your care,and your advice on what will be good for me over there to invest my own share on ?? as soon as i received the aboved information i will then send you all the necessary documents.

BEST REGARDS,
BARRISTER CHRIS KODJO

4.04.2008

Wildcat Lake Is Now Catfish Pond

My on-line buddy has been keeping me up to date on what’s been going on at our old summer campgrounds, Camp Mohican, in the mountains of Blairstown in western New Jersey.

He told me the lake was renamed from Wildcat Lake to Catfish Pond.

He said that after it closed as a scout summer camp, they filmed the “Friday the 13th” movies with Jason and the goalie mask there.

It’s a little known secret that what made Jason go mad and kill off all those promiscuous teen-agers was when he learned what went into the bug juice.

One ingredient was water from Wildcat Lake, another was genuine bugs from under genuine Appalachian Trail rocks, and the last was lots and lots of sugar to help keep all those little campers excited about being away from home for two weeks.

Continue reading

Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

4.03.2008

More Taxes You Pay Without A Thought

When we posted that Hidden Taxes You And I Pay, well, we thought it covered the monthly communications bill from FiOS.

Now, that our one convenient monthly bill includes Internet, TV, landline and three cell phones, it exceeds the rent we paid in 1977 on our Mary Street apartment in Belleville, N.J.

abacus

Here are some of the taxes we found on our 'phone' bill:

PAGE 3
Federal Subscriber Line Charge - $6.29
Federal Universal Service Fee - .64
CREDIT - Federal Universal Service Fund Surcharge - .57
Federal Excise Tax - .23
CREDIT State Tax - .18
E911 - .90
Federal Universal Fee - LD - $1.23
State Tax - $2.85

PAGE 4 Non-Basic Svc.
State Tax - .28

PAGE 6 FiOS TV
State Tax - $1.26
CATV Universal Access Fee - .32

PAGE 7 - Wireless
Taxes, Governmental Surcharges & Fees - $8.47
(I don't believe this, do you?)

PAGE 9 - Wireless breakdown
Wireless surcharges
Fed Universal Svc. Charge - .98
Regulatory Charge - .07
Administrative Charge - .70
Taxes, Governmental Surcharges and Fees
NJ 911 - .90
NJ State Sales Tax - $3.52

PAGE 10 - Wireless breakdown
Wireless surcharges
Fed Universal Svc. Charge - .22
Regulatory Charge - .07
Administrative Charge - .70
Taxes, Governmental Surcharges and Fees
NJ 911 - .90
NJ State Sales Tax - $1.48

PAGE 11 - Wireless breakdown
Wireless surcharges
Fed Universal Svc. Charge - .22
Regulatory Charge - .07
Administrative Charge - .70
Taxes, Governmental Surcharges and Fees
NJ 911 - .90
NJ State Sales Tax - .77

My abacus has broken, are there any math majors out there who can figure this out?

On Wednesday, for my $1.25 container of vanilla pudding, the restaurant added a sales tax and will dutifully send 9 cents to Gov. Jon Corzine. We suspect that of the 9 cents, 8.5 cents will be wasted on bureaucratic inefficiency and 2 cents will be added to the state's deficit.


Copyright © 2008 by Anthony Buccino, all rights reserved. Content may not be used for commercial purposes without written permission.

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4.01.2008

Shoot The Breeze, Sixteen Inches On Center

Shoot The Breeze and Sixteen Inches On Center by Anthony Buccino
were published in Snake 17, Spring, 2008 issue of
Rattle Snake Review (Poetry With Fangs)

Rattlesnake Review is a quarterly JournalZine from Rattlesnake Press.

Sixteen Inches On Center

April = National Poetry Month

LIPS PUBLICATION CELBRATION in Clifton


LIPS # 28/29 Publication Celebration (Michael Benedikt Memorial Issue)

Thursday, April 3, 7:30 PM
Barnes & Noble
395 Route 3 East (Clifton Commons)
Clifton

with SVEA BARRETT, LAURA BOSS, PETER CHELNIK, DAVID GERRY, MARIA MAZZIOTTI GILLAN, JIM GWYN, PENNY HARTER, GLORIA HEALY, MARK HILLRINGHOUSE, MICHELLE LERNER, DIANE LOCKWARD, CHARLOTTE MANDEL, SUSAN RAPPAPORT, CAROLE STONE, MADELINE TIGER, SANDER ZULAUF. Plus surprise guests

Free. Contact: Laura Boss: Editor, 201-662-1303 or Store: 973-779-5500
EVENT PHOTOS

A Dylan Thomas Tribute - April 5, 2008
A poetry reading by Aeronwy Thomas and Peter Thab, 1 p.m.
Hamilton Club Building, 32 Church Street, Paterson, N.J.
Open reading and reception to follow. Admission is free.

April is National Poetry Month



Poets.org

North Jersey Literary Series
Fourth Friday of the month, 8:30 p.m.
Poetry and …

Café Il Trapezio
120 Franklin Avenue
Nutley, NJ


More here on Poetry

Anthony's verse online